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February 28, 2008 is when this journal was born.

It was simple, with some birds, and I loved it. I saw it as an empty palace, a location that I could fill with my thoughts and stories, and have them reflect off the marbled ground into the eyes of unknown visitors. It was exhilaratingly tempting to me.

I was going through very tough times then… http://a.writersventure.com/?p=4

…having just withdrawn from the Creative Writing program at NC State University, I constructed this journal (known then simply as my journal) so that I could vent out my reasoning and communicate with people that I may have lost touch with over the years. I wanted everyone to know why I was doing what I was doing, and where I was going. In retrospect, the journal was purely selfish, of course. I needed to let myself know that my choices were acceptable, and, most of all, I just wanted to be heard. Silence had fed upon my tongue for years, and I was finally breaking away from its ill-tasting hold.

But I, like many other blog-creators, faded away. It was a triumphant start with worthwhile content, but the actual tally of posts prior to the conception of a.writersventure? About thirty. Thirty spread out, unrelated, random gabbings from a confused mind who smelled a looming defeat. I tried to hold on, but the struggle got to me. It never became easy. The words never came easy.

As of right now, November 2008, nearly an exact amount of 19 months have passed since then.

And I’ve learned, a lot. One thing in particular? Words will never come easy.

But when they come, and if I patiently let them come, they are the most beautiful alterations that I believe myself to be capable of scraping onto this planet, society, mind, and internet journal.

So, what became of the fresh college drop-out, then? Why, he is here right now, a TRUE college dropout, of course! Well…

I spent a few months to myself, romanticizng my life, saying that I was considering my options but I was really doing nothing for those months other than doing nothing for those few months. Through nothing, I believe that I learned some things. I knew then that I wanted to become a writer, but I was still seeking ways of acquiring a college degree. I planned to apply to various colleges, notably one in New York for writing. But then I pushed myself away from the prospect. I knew that my time with conventional and tangible schooling was over, and it was at this time that I seriously considered attending an online university.

My style of learning has always proved a mystery to me. I’m a stubborn fucking kind of guy, but I felt obligated to get my college degree. I deemed it necessary. Online colleges don’t offer degrees in writing, and I knew this, so, thus, I knew that I would not ever be getting a degree related to my largest passion. But what kind of degrees do online colleges offer? Computer-related ones! Hey, I like computers!

Enter the WGU stage of my life. Western Governors University. http://www.wgu.edu

It was pretty awesome, actually. I was committed for a year, and I tried hard in my classes. I loved the freedom that it presented to me, and I was finally feeling stable about my life and the direction it was headed. Even better, the classes were all specialized toward the degree that I was seeking, Information Technology. This was a welcome change from the traditional brick and mortar “Yeah, we know you are pursuing Creative Writing, but you still have to get so and so many credits in one of our millions of history classes and so and so many credits in one of our billions of mathematics classes, and some physical education, and some second language (we really likes the spanish speakersesez in particular here…), and then, only then, once you have proven to be a government-issued Jack-of-all-subjects, we’ll let you study with your major-specific teachers. Oh, but be prepared for some potential lacking of commitment to students, and a “drowsy days” style of educating. So, I was very excited. Even better, it was financially inexpensive compared to the classic schools, and just as appreciated in the work field.

I did that for a year, and then I remembered that I was trying to become a writer. The conversation went something like:

“What the fuck am I doing, studying to become an IT Guy? Do I really want to be remembered as a Nick Burns?” I thought to myself, pacing back and forth. I smelled particularly grotesque because I was grinding through the history of everything computer hardware-related, preparing to take the A+ Certification Exam.

That was enough for me to drop out of my second university. I truthfully cried a little bit in this revelation. But I was finally, for the first time in my life, acknowledging that all I want to do, all I want to study, and all that I want to pursue, is the constant, perennial, perpetual, itch in the back of my soul.

I am supposed to become a writer.

How do I know this? Because every hour of every day my mind reverts back to a story in my mind. Or a character, or a location. Because everything that I see, touch, hear, smell, and taste makes me think of something related to writing. Because it drives me fucking crazy when I am not writing. And, probably most importantly, I know that I am supposed to become a writer because through text, I acquire the power to tell my own answers to the greatest mysteries that my tiny existence carries.

And, so, I am one.

And, stated thus, we are brought to the reason for a.writersventure.

Through this everchanging electronic page, I will pour out the blood that charges my essence. I strive to tell my entire journey, from now, at the time of the conception of these words, as a 21 year old college drop out with no intention of ever again pursuing a redundant college degree, to the status of a known, worthwhile author.

I make a vow to update it regularly. For the days that I have no news to tell of my writing, I will oftentimes fill them with the art of friends, or strangers, that inspire me to continue pursuing my own art. Every day I will strive to fill with worthwhile content.

Where am I now, at 21, in the aforementioned state, as far as my writing career is concerned?

To my name I have one short story and five or six poems, with over 20 short stories concepted and told in my mind but struggled to put into readable text; two basically concepted novel ideas, and Gretchin, my fully realized and concepted novel  that has entered construction. Zero publications.

I just thought that out there, somewhere, there is an audience who would like to come along with me for this ride, this venture. Because it is all that I have, and I will not allow myself to fail to nothing.

And some encouraging, or critical, nonetheless believing eyes really do not hurt one’s morale.

Welcome to my venture.

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